I joined an exclusive club in March 2019. Most recently, my 90 year old grandmother joined this club and of all of the things that she and I have to have in common, I hate it for both of us. For all of us. Our children leave us for different reasons at different ages but the impact is the same. I didn’t know this day existed prior to last year and decided it wasn’t a day that I would cleave to but I cannot overlook the importance of it. There is no “happy” on this day, but there is honor and there are so many amazing mommas in this club. We didn’t receive an invitation and there was no initiation. We simply woke up one day and became women who had buried children. The world doesn’t know about this day, but we do,and so we honor each other. We honor each other because in what seemed like a blink of the eye we gave life, love and a premature unwanted, unnatural goodbye.
Just. Like. That.
But we keep going.
It’s because we keep going, because we understand each other and what it’s like to live without part of our reason for living, that this day is ours. We don’t want sympathy. We don’t want recognition from the rest of the world. We don’t want cards or flowers or to be celebrated because we didn’t want this. This is our day to celebrate, encourage and love each other from a place that only we know.
So, to all of you amazing mommas out there giving it your absolute best to live despite your loss, I see you. I feel you. You did it, you’re doing it and you will continue doing it. Each day all that was the child that you said goodbye to lives in you.
Next week we will celebrate, but today we stand shoulder to shoulder in love and understanding born from loss. We’ve got this because we have each other. Sending hugs and prayers to all of you today.