A Place For

Hope, Healing & Living

Like so many of you, losing my son changed me forever and I saw very quickly that my survival was tethered to one thing - grief.  The question was, what to do with it.  My son, Hagen, was always most comfortable when he was with his "brothers", whether on the football field, or later in the U.S. Navy.  He believed in unity.  He believed in encouragement and he believed in support.  For several months I walked the lonely road of grief by myself, and in my solitude began sharing my journey on social media.  It was during that solitude that I began to see what was missing for so many.  Not being able to actively love my son left me feelinig inadquate and lost and I found that taking my immense pain and turning it into something meaningful helped me heal in ways I didn't quite understand, but the more I encouraged, talked, loved and supported, the less I hurt, and I was once again activley loving.   As I watched comment after comment come in from those that blessed me with their attention, I realized that they too were sentenced to solitude by the stigma. It had placed us all in a cell with grief as our cellmate. Over the course of the first year without Hagen, I slowly met others that could not only understand my new found struggles, but also carried within them the key to my cell.  Connection.  We were created to be part of something bigger than ourselves, whether that is a family, a team, or a unit, so I set my sights on creating a family so big nothing could come against it. 

I don't know that there has been anything as fulfilling and rewarding as discovering a new tribe of brothers and sisters bound by loss.  In this tribe I am understood, accepted and loved and stigma has no place.  In this tribe I watch grieving parents rise up to become SURVIVING parents who turn their pain into purpose, and I see life come back to them.  In this tribe we walk hand-in-hand with all of those affted by substance use disorder, mental illness, and Fentanyl poisoning united in love and hope.

As a surviving mother, supporting recovery is where my pain is truly turned into purpose, and that is where I feel most near to my son.  At each and every event I attend, I smile knowing that is where Hagen would be, and that is where he would want me to be.  Through the lives and accomplishments of those that have defeated the demon of addiction, Hagen lives on.  Seeing the light in the eyes of those celebrating recovery, and hearing their victorious stories, allows me to love and celebrate the son that I miss so much.  Had his life here not ended, he would have found his way to recovery, and once again found a brotherhood that he was created to be part of.  

Together, these two amazing groups of individuals -all survivors in the own rights - have formed a family with one voice united to change the course of overdose and Fentanyl deaths.  Together we work to save lives.  Together we show the world the reality of what the substance use disorder looks like.  And together we silence stigma.  

We are losing almost 300 of our children every single day...every 8 min in the U.S.!  We all fought for our children in their battle whether it be years or 1 time.  We now continue to fight the stigma of this disease in order to save others!  By sharing the photos on these banners of our children lost to this epidemic, they not only are remembered but their faces carry the strong message reminding us all - the 3 most dangerous words - “NOT MY CHILD!”

We want to put Our Children’s faces in front of politicians, those struggling with addiction, the parents who think “Not My Child!”, the uneducated children in our schools, the cold-hearted or just close minded people that think those struggling are “worthless junkies. They were people. They mattered! They didn’t wake up one day and choose addiction instead of their future happiness or their children now left behind. We, mamas and daddies, may have lost our own children but we are growing stronger by the minute and we will not sit silent like our politicians or the many who are scared to talk about it. WE are going to move mountains! Like Agatha Christie said, “A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.” Well I tell you- I know I’m one mama ready to CRUSH! I couldn’t save my own amazing son, nor could many other moms and dads because we were left without so much of the knowledge that is now coming to surface. H-E-A-R ME though!...we are watching, we are listening, we are learning and we are fighting for all of our future.
We are all warriors in the fight to save your child, your brother, your sister, your mama, your daddy or your best friend!
I do these “Can You See Me Now” banners to honor my son, Trey and all of those gone too soon!  
We will NOT let their faces be forgotten.
Help if you can to get these banners in the hands of as many groups as possible to advocate for RECOVERY and save a life!!!  

As a mother who lost her only child, Taylor Nicole Thompson (TNT), to an accidental overdose on July 13, 2019, I knew I had to find a way to honor her and help others.  Taylor’s birthday came just six painful weeks after her passing and at the last minute, God gave me an idea to throw her a heavenly birthday party and put together gift bags for young women in recovery.  Taylor and one of her best friends who has since remained in recovery both had support from their moms and received care packages and letters frequently, but they explained that not all the ladies in sober living did.  Many relationships become fractured due to the difficulties while a loved one is in active addiction and sometimes the parents themselves are in active addiction or are no longer living.  Taylor’s heart to help others who suffered from mental health and addiction issues came to life as TLC From TNT after her passing.
 
Although the bags contain material items, they extend far beyond that by sharing the heart of my girl who loved the underdog, the misunderstood, the hurting, and the broken. In these bags, we include scripture verses and a letter encouraging the recipients to continue seeking help and fighting for a brighter future.  Spending time with the people in recovery is also a crucial part of TLC From TNT.  I want them to feel the love, support and encouragement of those not only delivering the gifts, but also those who helped put them together.  I want them to feel special and loved, to know that we see them, and God sees them, and to know that they are amazing and worthy to be loved.  It means much more to them when we spend time with them, often having a meal or just sitting and talking.  Through the time together, they can see that even parents or loved ones struggle and that love can overcome any mistakes we have made with time, God and a little TLC. 

Over the last year, TLC From TNT has been blessed to provide over 200 gift bags for people in recovery, donate games and home décor to two local faith based recovery homes, send/deliver meals to multiple sober living homes, throw a baby shower for a couple in recovery, donate to multiple recovery related programs, and put together an interview/Facebook live post supporting a local men’s faith based recovery program in need of monthly donors.  Although COVID 19 may have temporarily slowed us down a little, we are back in the swing of things and have big plans for the holiday season coming up.  We can’t wait to share how you can be a part of this important event so stay tuned.